Becoming a Mother

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh


One of my best friends is checking into the hospital tonight to start preparations for inducing her labor. Medical staff will start a Potosin drip in the morning and by Thursday at the latest, she will be a mother for the first time.

I wanted to call her this morning to tell her to enjoy the last day of not being a mother. But how do you explain that to someone who is not a mother yet? How do you explain that after this baby is brought into the world she will never be the same again, or think the same again?

People say, "motherhood will change your life!" but I think when you hear that before you are a mother, you think of all the lifestyle changes you will make. Most women know that they will have less time, less sleep, less money, less privacy. less sex. The things they thought were important before, suddenly are no longer important, and that is true. These are things you can predict before you bring a life into the world.

But there are so many things you can't predict. Motherhood does not just change your lifestyle, it changes you as a woman. And they are not conscious changes, they are not changes that you pondered about or choices that you made. They are changes that are automatic as soon as your baby takes his/her's first breath, or for some who become a mother without giving birth, its the first time they hold their child, or embrace their role of mother. You suddenly become less important to yourself. How can you explain that concept to someone? We all know what it is like to love someone and put their needs ahead of yours, but when its a husband, parent, sibling, friend, its a conscious decision, you often tell yourself, "well, I got to pick last time" or "I can suck it up and put up with this, if its important to ____whomever" But when it comes to your child, you just do, you don't think about it. I could list a million examples of this, but if you a mom you already know and if you aren't, examples are really going to bring it home for you. When writing my thoughts down, I got teary and emotional, I did not get this way when I found out I was pregnant,nor did I cry when I held my own children for the first time. But I cry now, because I have a complete understanding of the transformations my friend will go through.

So, I will call my friend this afternoon, and wish her luck, share in her excitement, but I think I will remain silent about the changes ahead for her. There is simply no way she can truly appreciate her last day on being a childless woman, because there is not way to appreciate all that accompanies motherhood without being a mother.

So good luck my friend, motherhood ain't for sissies, but it will be the greatest joy you will ever know.

Sidenote: I know there are some moms reading my blog,that became moms by other means than giving birth. I realize that motherhood for you may or may not have started at the moment or birth or your child's first breath. But it will for my friend that I am blogging about and that is why I reference it.